8 things I Do To Make Myself Happier

Listen! We are living in some crazy times. If you are anything like me, or say, the other 7. whatever billion people on this planet, your whole life has been turned upside down in just a few weeks. Although most of us are holding on the hope that things will eventually (and hopefully soon) get back to to normal, we are still going through a huge amount of uncertainty, upheaval, and resulting stress.

To get through these times without losing my mind, I find it helpful to keep a stash of little things in my back pocket to lift my spirits, so I can continue to be the strong and mighty queen the world needs!

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1. Rehydrate every morning

I find it hard to drink water, especially upon waking, EVEN IF my throat is dry. One thing that helps is having a quick 8 ounces before I start my coffee brewing (seriously it almost makes me gag, I don't know where this aversion comes from),  and then sip another warm cup with fresh squeezed lemon. Somehow when I warm up the mug of water, and splash a little zesty lemon it becomes a palatable treat!

I've got to get this happy cup!

2. Caffeinate

I like my coffee. Dark, rich, and hot, just holding that steaming cup in my hands in a fantastic morning pleasure. If coffee isn't your um, cup of tea, perhaps trying a cup of tea will give you a lift. There are so many varieties of coffee and teas, both caffeinated and decaf, you can easily find the right brew to lift your morning mood. Anything that becomes part of a quiet morning ritual will enhance your day and bring a feeling of wellness. When it comes to favorite brews, I swear I love the Walmart Great Value French Roast K-cups. To increase the value of that minute or so waiting for the Keurig to heat up and brew, I do between 20-30 various squats to tone my legs.

Go crazy and consider this coffee:

3. Morning Meditation

I am not going to lie. I am not a super-meditator who can sit for 45 minutes visualizing world peace (although if you are, you go!). But I like to sit and listen to a short meditative lecture on the Simple Habit app, while doing slow stretching exercises to warm my body up and loosen for the day. After that, I will listen to some white noise or meditative music and practice true meditation and visualization for oh, an average of around 6 minutes.
If the Simple Habit app isn't for you, here are links to several other similar sites you can try! 

4. Hiking

Photo by Toomas Tartes on Unsplash

While not my picture, and apparently that photo was taken in Chile, I love hiking. I don't do it nearly as often as I should, because the hump I have to get over to pack enough for the kids and get all the stuff ready seems to outweigh my perceived benefit of pushing through, but when I do push through I always am delighted I did. I love the outdoors, the scenery, the exercise, and even the confidence I feel when I manage rocky terrain surefootedly. Nothing as of yet has compared with our short family hikes in Rocky Mountain National Park, however, I have explored Ozark hills, quiet wooded paths,  emerald green paths atop the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland, and I plan to see how the Alps compare to the Rockies as soon as fate allows!

While not technically hiking boots, these were my go-to boots on rainy walks in Ireland:




I swear I love these things. I get so excited on work days when it is wet and rainy. A perfect excuse to wear my two-year-old boots!

5. Favorite Movies
A little media can be good for the soul. Watching a tear-wrenching film is often the carthartic release I need to look at the world through new eyes. Most of us are getting more than enough screen time. Let's just make sure it is something worth our time which enriches our lives. For you it might be a silly comedy, an action film, or a light-bright rom-com. You do you. You deserve it.

Or watch something fun, like the movie we got my youngest child, Alec's name from (I am totally the dorky blonde girl)

6. Reading

I will never have enough time to read. From fabulous fiction which takes me away to a better place, to informative and inspiring nonfiction which helps me discover who I was meant to be and encourages me to become that person, there are so many amazing books out there! Now that my life is so busy I read a lot more nonfiction than fiction. It is just so much easier to skim and drop off and pick up a nonfiction book. But every now and then a fiction book will grab ahold of me and won't let me go until we come to that shaky, sleep-deprived ending. Heaven!
I'll be posting on my current reading soon.

7. Brainstorm Fun Ideas

From bucket lists, to do now dream lists, to planning imaginary virtual vacations, I love to think about the all the options in the world, and think about what it would be like to make it happen.
I have recently been inspired by my reading of How to do Everything and Be Happy, by Peter Jones. It's a simple book to help you feel brave enough to take back some time and has practical hints on how to organize the things you want to do and get them done.

This is one of the books that is cheaper in paperback than kindle...

8. Practice Letting Go

Letting go of past hurts and disappointments is never easy. But it is the KEY to a happy outlook. Give yourself the time to really dig in and feel the feels and then when you are ready, look for the lesson, and move on. Learning not to hold grudges and not to drown in self-pity has given me the power to control my own happiness, and I recommend giving it a try. This is a lesson which requires practice, because once forgiven, doesn't mean always forgiven. The stubborn heart when challenged will bring back those unpleasant memories, so it helps to think of forgiveness as an ongoing process you can practice again and again and again.

I am sorry. My good-girl-ness doesn't usually like bad words, but is just so right on. A good short affirmation for yourself!



As you can see, these are simple ideas. Not a one of them is too crazy-hard to implement to increase your daily happiness. While you would obviously want to switch out the ones which don't work for you and put in things that make you, personally, happy, the key is to add a little joy to your life Every. Single. Day.

Analyze Your Writing and Discover Your Personality?

Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash

I have found this superfun (if you are a self-seeker) website which analyzes your writing style and makes a prediction on your personality type. After you cut and paste your text (with a substantial amount of your own writing), it will analyze your word choice and give a qualitative description of your personality as well as rate you on the big-5.

Now it doesn't do an MBTI test, but you can generate that yourself if you are familiar with the test.

I used three samples of writing. The strongest indicators which persisted through each piece for me personally was that I am philosophical, open to new experiences, and introverted. The rest depended on the particular piece of writing.


Give it a try here!  Personality Insights

I would LOVE to read a comment regarding your outcomes and experiences with this! Drop me a line.

Joy!

Yesterday I was reading people's first and second hand accounts with Covid-19 and worked myself into a state of worry by bedtime. I just kept thinking how I could possibly be down for a week or two or three, lying in bed miserable in pain, and how on earth Karl would keep the kids away. Then I worried about my husband's health, because he is the one still going out to work in an office environment with other people. He is going to pick up germs and spread them all over our house. Then I thought of our boys and I couldn't imagine them in such discomfort over a period of time. 

I think it would be wise not to read accounts of the misery of the illness. Every pain, every bit of pressure has me wondering, is this it? Is this a symptom? Like an 8-month-pregnant woman reading into every twinge as a sign of labor, I wonder if everything is just the beginning of an unpleasant illness.

But then morning comes, and I am such a morning person, and the sunlight is beautiful, and online classes for my students begin today, and joy will not be suppressed.

I hope everyone is well. How are you keeping your thoughts safe and happy! I would love it if you would share.

3-4-5 Plan

Update at bottom!✔️
Quarantine weight got you feeling sluggish? Between the boredom baking and the boredom eating, I have found my weight continuing its uphill climb, even as my energy levels are plummeting. If you find yourself in the same boat, feel free to follow this along with me.
The 3-4-5 diet plan is nothing new. Now, granted, I thought I was really on to something until I started typing this and ran a Google search and discovered, no, it's already a thing. But no worries.
The idea is you break your meals into 3 and segment the calories as stated.

Breakfast: 300 calories
Lunch:      400 calories
Dinner:     500 calories

Now, I am not going to stick to 500 calories for dinner. As long as I eat under 1700 a day, I will lose weight. So mine is basically a 300-400-500 to 1000 plan.

If you already skip breakfast, I am not going to say  go eat breakfast. Why would you add an extra meal if you are struggling with weight anyway? I am not going to talk about mini-meals or snacks or grazing, because we all got fat listening to that crap. If you do prefer to graze, you are old enough to break your time into chunks and keep your calories with in that range (6 a.m. to 11 a.m. keep it to 300 calories, etc).

Some additional rules I plan to follow are severely limiting tortilla chips. I love those things and sticking to the recommending serving size of just 7 chips is too, too painful for me. Also, limiting alcohol to weekends. I love a relaxing glass of smooth Cabernet Sauvignon, however, it also makes me hungry!

No night time snacking. I am the worst about first and second dinner and snacking. I want to stop eating at 5 or at least keep it to a cup or two of popcorn. Five works for us because the little kids like to eat early, however, I could feasibly make this work with a 6 p.m. cut off.

That's it! I use MyFitnessPal for calorie counting, so feel free to join me there. My name is blueberryjill.
Naturally, you should only restrict your calories if it is okay with your doctor and your health can support it. Use your brain and do what's right for you.

I will add my progress to comments later. I would love to hear how you are doing in your efforts to stay healthy in these times.

✔️

Small

Image From Wikipedia

This is a time when I feel very small. We read and talk and posture and learn, always working to convince ourselves that we are bigger, we are strong, we are enough. And then something comes along and we realize we are just one wave in an enormous crashing ocean. All the answers , all the power seems to seep away and like a child dependent on an abusive parent, we hold our hand out to powers we don't really trust and drink in their words because what else can we do?

All my spiritual exercises and practices make me feel very silly. I read an article about not giving or taking ibuprofen with this illness and thus HAD TO GO BUY Acetaminophen (Tylenol). I was embarrassed about showing my frailty as a human, my dependence on these bits of information laid bare, but as I walked through the eerie night,  away from the clicking traffic lights (the streets were so quiet) into the drugstore, and back to the pain reliever aisle, I found just one lone bottle of  children's liquid acetaminophen left. I was not the only worried one. And I felt both justified and sheepish at the same time.

I picked up more coffee, because I know what is important, noted the lack of toilet paper and paper towels, and picked up the teensiest little box of Kleenex, because you never know. All the interactions were awkward between everyone, and I stepped back into the quiet night feeling so alone.

And I try to put a spin on it, and it is a little exciting. I know. I know! I am immature. I am not supposed to say that. It is horrible and my mother would berate me so, but if I step back for a minute I think, this is feeling we have been chasing for years. Chasing around with our dystopian novels and movies, wishing we could really touch and understand the depths of life. And here it stands, surreal, and I feel as if I am standing in molasses and my head is filled with thick, numbing syrup. I don't feel fear. Just anxiety. And confusion.

And I think eventually it will all go back to normal, because what else can I think? and I hope the casualties of life aren't so great. I hope unemployment is short and recovery is quick both in human cost and fiscally, because I worry.

And I can close my eyes as I type and pause for a minute, and in the eeriness of this quiet, quiet world, I can feel our pulse, shared and steady, and love how we are all in this together.

Whatever it is.

So THIS is Spring Break

I woke up too early (again!), thanks to my husband lying diagonally across the bed. There was just no room left for me (note to self: next time, get the king-sized bed).
My cold has finally hit. It had been brewing for a few days, but you know what? It's not bad. Just a little head cold, even the aches are minimal. Who knows? It could be allergies. It's that time of year.

So our Disney/Universal vacation has been put on hold. I wasn't planning on spring break in Missouri, and naturally the temperature has dropped again and it's rainy. I want to sulk. But it will be nice to hang out out home, catch up on some reading, and get some rest in with my family.

My day job has given me a week off, and the kids have a week off, and it's going to be fine. My husband had taken a week and a half-off work, but he may go back to work early to save some vacation days for later in the year, since our plan is canceled/postponed.

It seems like so much of human life is lived "in the head." What I mean by this, is we work to construct so much meaning to everything. Already my mind is working to wrap itself around this situation we are all in and apply a deeper lesson and meaning to it. This is not tragic. For me. I work on salary, so if my work shuts down a bit, it isn't the end. In fact, if anything, they would have us work from home. However, I know many hourly workers who would suffer greatly. My brother's business in another country is suffering. My small online shop has come to a complete standstill in the past couple of weeks. This is tough since business was starting to get rolling, but it is more of a fun game I am playing than an income-generator.

There is a morning thunderstorm outside, which is lovely since we don't have to get up and go anywhere. Perhaps this is an opportunity to really savor the quiet moments. A hot cup of coffee, rumbling thunder outside. A warm dog at my feet. In all but the worst of situations these pleasures can be enjoyed.

My prayer and hope is that suffering be limited overall. People rely on paychecks to survive. Do you believe in the collective unconscious? Do you believe there is power in it? A more religous person would say, all power comes from God. And that's true. But maybe they are the same? Or maybe we have more power with God than we realize. I wonder if we all lift the prayer and hope up if that will make a difference. If we focus on the idea that all is well and suffering will be small and limited, will it?

Let's give it a try.

This isn't a thoughts and prayers cop-out. I believe in jumping in and helping when we can. However, doom and gloom is never the answer. Focusing on the positive, while looking for ways to jump in and help is what changes the world for the better.

We've got this, friends.

Embarrassing First Date Confession

First I want to say, being a female is fantastic. Now I am not saying misogyny and sexism don't affect my world and aren't a real thing, but overall I like being me in this time and place.

Basic arm strength aside, I don't really think women are the weaker sex at all. We are amazing in the sheer amount of work we can get done(although my husband's ability to clean a refrigerator or room quickly without tiring is really impressive, and I envy that), the number of things we can keep on our mind (and this is not my strong area), and our ability to reason well and feel deeply(not saying you men can't do this either).  Women Rock! Go Rosie!

But there is an area where I feel some of us are lacking. Maybe not every female, maybe not you. But for me and some women I know, this is a problem.

But I am jumping ahead of myself. Let's get to the date.

My  mom had introduced me to Karl. He lived in the same apartment complex and my mom was always out socializing and meeting people. He had come to a group movie (I started to suspect he liked me since it was my mom, an elderly neighbor, and me only), and my mom's Halloween party. Finally he worked up the nerve...to ask me out as friends. We had a few "friend dates" where we met at a local bar complete with some heavy kissing afterward, but more than anything I was just confused. Finally after a break, he asked me out on a "REAL" date. 

I was excited, but also wary. The three week break we had just come off of had hurt me, and I wasn't quite sure of his intentions, and I have a tender heart hidden behind a layer of false bravado, keep 'em guessing BS (which probably fools noone-but helps me feel safe). We went out for Mexican food, and then back to his bar again. I am not a bar person, and definitely wasn't then, but it was a small supposed-to-be lesbian bar, which seemed to attract its share of single men, hiding out from life I guess. Anyway, I got this amazing, big tropical drink. It had five shots, but I usually stuck with wine or champagne when I had alcohol, so it didn't really register with me that that might be more than enough. I think I even ordered a second. Everything was fine. I was relaxed and having fun, and then we got up to leave. 

And suddenly, the world swayed around me.  Sounds seem to blur as wave of nausea came over me and I clung to Karl for support. We went outside and decided to walk back to Karl's place. Both his apartment and my home were within walking distance, and taking the car didn't seem like a good idea since we were drinking. Outside the winter air seemed like it might clear my head and then...

I threw up. Right in the parking lot by the back door of the bar. That in itself is embarrassing, am I right? But you see, I was a female who had three children. Three beautiful children who barged through the door to my uterus weighing a range of 8 and a half pounds to a chubby 9 pounds 14 ounces. My pelvic wall had seen better days. So when I threw up, I also (you ladies guessed it, right) peed my pants. Right there by the bar, in winter, when we were too drunk to get in a car to get anywhere. 

I was partially mortified and partially 34 and developing wisdom (hey, men will go through a lot to get a little, ahem). I may or may not have squeezed out a tear. There was nothing left to do, but walk the 1/2 to 3/4 miles to his apartment. We got there, I showered, and then embarrassingly, fit into a pair of his jeans, and we hung out for several more hours, watching movies, kissing and eating lots of candy. 

On good days, I think it is a sign of our comfort with each other, that we could move on and finish the date. 

On bad days, I think it is an omen and I should have known better.

:)