On Vision-Why Developing it Matters to Me

 

Photo by Matt Noble on Unsplash

Vision. 

My focus word for the year

Vision is the word I have chosen as my focus word of the year. It is something most of us probably like to think we have, but many of us truly do not utilize vision to the fullest extent possible. If you had asked five years ago if I had vision, I would have said, "Yes, of course."  However, aging has a way of making you look at yourself differently and embrace your faults and shortcomings in a kinder, more whole-hearted way. And I don't operate from a place which utilizes vision. 

Now is this TRULY a shortcoming or just a manner of being? That, my friend, is wholly dependent upon your values and how you wish to live your life. For me, it is an area I just feel the need to expand upon. 

What is vision exactly? 

To me, vision is the ability to use your imagination to see how things might be different or better in the future. Vision is looking beyond maintaining the status quo and picturing a way to make things better. Vision may or may not be about bending things more to your will, but ideally, it is based on constructing an enhanced future with greater depth and meaning. 

I often feel as if I going through life partially asleep. Physically it feels like there is a lulling, foggy weight sleeping on the frontal lobe of my brain and behind my eyes. I feel as if I am truly NOT completely awake. While it is possible to operate in a fairly complex manner and maintain a challenging life half-asleep, it can also lead a sense of complacency with what is and sleeping through life watching Netflix reruns and living for the next donut opportunity. It's a smaller way to live. 

And again-it's okay. If you work hard and are relatively good (most of us are neither as good nor as bad as we think ourselves to be, I imagine), you will live a fairly fulfilled life in the half-asleep state. You will enjoy your animal comforts, love your children, laugh at jokes, and enjoy the sensation of a soft pillow and a conscience-free heart. And for many that is enough.

But if, like me, a persistent, nagging feeling is tugging from within-pressing on your eyes, rousing your forehead (it's truly a physical sensation for me) shaking the cloud hovering just over the front of your head, it may be time to search for more. 

I cannot imagine this is a one and done affair. I can't spend 30 minutes imagining a future, write it out and be on my merry way. First of all, I am out of practice when it comes to imagination. As a child, I would lie in bed at night envisioning ways of making my mark on the world. I was to be a martyr, universally loved and cherished at the  moment of my death. People would KNOW. Now though, martyr dreams are out-I have  a family to raise, and frankly, it just doesn't sound appealing.  I have to sit and DO the hard work of planning. And I am out of practice. As much love as I have for self-help books, I always skip over the workbooky aspects of them which require putting onto paper your thoughts and plans. I thought it was because doing so was a waste of time and slowed down my intake of ideas from the text. I know now, however, that it was sheer mental laziness, impatience, and a way to consume ideas without truly digesting and fully incorporating them into my life. I thought it was mental freedom, but it was actually mental neglect. 

There are different ways I can handle this. One is to get a book which organizes a life path-where I just need to fill in the blanks. Another might be to determine which paths to focus on before I spend time envisioning the future. Yet another is to just sit quietly and let the dreams and visions unfold to determine what I want. Even now, I just want to think about thinking about it. I don't want to DO it. It's hard. Thinking and imagination, for those out of practice, is HARD.

Always have to make the plan...

Since this is a yearlong focus, I will be blogging at least monthly on my progress in this area. 

1. First, I need to determine which life areas I wish to focus on applying vision. 
2. Next, I will need to spend time allowing my imagination to soar as I envision ways to improve, alternate possibilities, and how to go beyond "drink more water and get more exercise," to creating a truly unique life experience which awakens and challenges me. 
3. Finally, I need to put it into practice. 

For me, this is the satisfying part. Writing out what I plan to do is usually enough to make my brain hit that little checkmark tab on and I think, "Done." I need to move beyond a simple plan, into true thought and imagination, and finally application. 

I need to keep shaking myself, keep waking myself, and keep demanding I stay awake and aware.

When I return I plan to have an outline of the areas in which I want to focus my vision. 

See you soon.

New Year's Resolutions-Getting ready for 2022

 

                                            Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I didn't want to say New Year's Resolutions, but let's call a spade a spade. After a delicious 11 days off, tomorrow it is back to school for the second term. I have thoroughly enjoyed binge-watching The Vampire Diaries (rumor is it is going off Netflix in March), which I just found in November. I have enjoyed doing a whole big fat lot of nothing. It was wonderful. But now, I feel the need to stir things up, plan for the new year, and start making progress towards greater meaning in this crazy little thing called Life.

Do you make resolutions? How do you decide what to focus on?

My Resolutions

Below are a list of things I want to focus on this year:

Fitness

First of all, I feel a renewed need to focus on fitness. Let's be honest. I am 48 and have carried and given birth to six children. No matter what I do, this has marked my body. And sometimes I do get discouraged. When energy and mood is flagging and brownie batter is calling my name, it is hard to stay focused on the fact that am overweight. Part of me thinks, "Well, no matter what I do there will be stretch marks and saggy skin, so why bother?" But part of me is also aware of the things I want out of life. I want to hike, all day hikes, which require a strong, healthy body. 

Creation

I want to start junk journaling. I have wanted to do this for awhile, but have put it off. First of all, when I have tried making/creating things in the past, the kids have always interrupted or messed with my supplies. However, I am tired of putting off what I want to do. I need to develop systems which allow me to quickly and easily put away my items and get them out when I want to use them. 

Here is a link to a video on Junk Journaling for Beginners.

Photo by Rhodi Lopez on Unsplash

Focus on Vision

I am one who likes to quietly experience life and then slowly contemplate my experiences. This is where I find meaning. However, I want to start focusing more on vision and planning a future for myself. Part of me abhors this-it such a high-maintenance TJ  (the link explains the different types. I am an FP, so TJ are sort of my polar opposite)  sort of thing to do. But really, whenever I try to participate in meditations or abundance mindset, I find myself struggling to even know what I want. 

What I feel like I want is romance and friendship and adventures and interesting thoughts and quiet nights and good books and an occasional fire crackling in the fireplace. And that is all good. But maybe, it is time to start envisioning more for myself. This is actually VERY hard for me. I remember watching people at work, and they had all these ideas for how to improve things, and I am over here like, "Hey, let's just all be friends and have fun together." 

While that is okay and is valuable, I also feel like there is a part of my brain that is quietly slumbering through life. It probably doesn't help that most of them are younger now and they do get together and I am sadly excluded-so I have no choice but to change my focus, haha). And I want to wake it up and shake it up a little. I know I often come across as flaky and unintelligent, and while I am a wee bit shallow (I like the way things look), I also know I am intelligent. It irritates the bejesus out of me when people are surprised at my tests scores or my ability to get things done. Just because I like boots and makeup doesn't mean I don't have the ability to think deeply. Now, thinking quickly, that  may be a problem for me. But slow thinking has its benefits, too, and both types are needed to get things done. 

Either way, when someone asks, "What do you want?" I want to have an answer.

Less Screen Time

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I really plan to focus on less screen time for both myself and the boys. Time spent blogging and creating-not so bad. Time spent bingewatching a TV show and watching the boys scroll through Youtube videos (I don't allow TikTok), is a bit of a waste. I plan to develop limits and then ENFORCE them. The enforcement is the hardest part. When I have worked all day, and the boys are bickering, it is hard to hold my ground. But I can and must. I watched this horrific video by Mrwhosetheboss (who by the way is sexy as hell-I have a thing for British-Indians, I guess), and I feel like the whole world is slipping away from us and we are just dumbly watching it happen (It may have something to do with getting older, too).

The video I'm Worried about humanity's future is really an interesting one!

Less Perfectionism

Finally, I need to start nipping my perfectionism in the bud.  I often feel like I can't have people over unless my house is perfect, or I can't start a hobby without the perfect workspace in place. I have to stop that. I can't keep waiting until everything is perfect to live my life. If someone cannot realize that I am working fulltime and am doing well to keep up with laundry, kids, and dishes and wants to judge me because some things need work, I don't need them in my life. 

This is easy to say, hard to do. I want to be liked. I want make other people happy. But if Joe or Josephina Cool can't deal with my broken dishwasher, then are they really the best person for me?  Let them go find the perfect person with the perfect life. This insecurity over my imperfections is terrible. 

My workplace is going to masks not required tomorrow (thanks to our state attorney general), and while I yearn to breath freely, part of me is worried that people will see my larger than average nose again and BE DISAPPOINTED. Like Screw them. I *know*if someone likes me, they will extend this to my face, but ... this damned nose. Sigh. 

Anyway, more acceptance, less perfectionism. I think part of me wants to be more and higher. I want friends with money and beautiful homes, but I also know if I can't get there myself, they probably aren't my group. So I hide and...I'm a fruitcake, people!:).

Anyway, I will get a head start on this, by not proofreading this post. I hate proofreading and editing. Blah. 

So those are my basic resolutions for the year. I realize these aren't SMART goals. I plan to attack each individually in upcoming posts.

Happy New Year!

Please share what you hope to focus on this year.