The Books

 Another Easter is in the books. From the magical hopefulness of a childhood Easter imbued with joy and excitement to the anticipation of a Easter as a young parent to whatever it is I am now. 

It's been a dreary day. I can take a little dreariness sometimes. But there are days when I just WANT the sun to shine. There is a coolness in the air, and after running around outside for 30 minutes or so, Liam ran in with a nasty case of hives. He is allergic to cold air, although it is also spring and pollen exists in the world. So, he's been dosed with Benadryl, and I sit looking out my window. The screen is patched. I try to look past the imperfections to my neighbors purple flowering trees. I desperately want some lilac bushes and a couple dwarf apple trees. I never got them in when Karl was here, and now I face having to do it myself. Shudder. Not this year. 

I guess this is the first year I have been alone at Easter. Of course my kids are here. I know I should have made an effort. I should have invited people, but honestly, I have trouble rallying when my pocketbook is empty. We did have an AMAZING chuck roast. Since Karl moved out over a year ago, we haven't really enjoyed much roast or steak, so it was a great treat. I broke the rest up and made barbeque beef, but I made the crazy decision to start eating Keto last night, so I can't have the barbeque sauce. Taryn dropped by to see the boys,  which was nice, but she is a vegetarian, so there wasn't much point invited her to our one pot meat and vegetable meal. 

So I am feeling down. This is evident. My confidence is meh, my excitement is nonexistent. But...I've lived long enough to know I don't have to take the road to despair. I just need to sit tight and let the wave wash over me, which it will, and the sun will come out tomorrow. Maybe not literally tomorrow, but you know. It looks as if the end of the week will warm up, which is what I really need. Just some warm air on my skin and a hint of sunshine on my face.