I am an imperfect soul. I am so imperfect I could spend hours cringing over what meager memories I have stored of my failings.
One thing which has made my life much more difficult is a desire for honesty and bluntness in my view on the world. Women aren't supposed to be blunt. Women are expected to sweeten and sugarcoat and heal. Slowly, slowly I have been learning this lesson-at least to the extent I can stand.
Last week, someone was proofreading sentences with some students. One of the words that needed fixed was changing the form of "there" to the form which referred to people. They wondered aloud whether they were correct, but then nodded decisively and said, "Yes, it's t-h-i-e-r."
And I looked up and wondered---what should I do? Could I bear an inaccuracy to stand? I thought of the sped teachers who I had been working with as a substitute para when they taught math (incorrectly). One I let it go, the other I corrected. The one who was corrected was not impressed with me. I thought of the para in my classroom leading the kids through a similar exercise and his mortification when I corrected him (and he is SO MUCH more knowledgeable than I will ever be). It isn't like I don't make mistakes and misspellings even though I technically know better. And I thought of the kids and quickly decided.
I let t-h-i-e-r stand. I could weave it into a lesson later.
And today, the relief I felt at sparing someone a moment of embarrassment, despite how much I hate to let an inaccuracy stand, came full circle, and I thanked God for that brief, humane choice I made.
No comments:
Post a Comment