Sunday, February 16, 2020

A World of Choices

I have been playing with mortgage calculators and Zillow today and my goodness! if I had my credit cards paid off, I could have quite a beautiful house. I mentioned it to Karl and he too, was kind of ready to move on. Now, it will be a few years before I get the credit cards taken care of, but, is that the thing to do?
Sidenote: I also looked up the homes of some of my acquaintances. Some of you married well! Others made just the right choices to move up, up, and away (but you have small families and have lived in Missouri all your life, so the wealth is a trade-off-don't mind me-it's wine and jealousy talking-though I always wanted a big family-definitely rather be an Ingalls over an Oleson. Well, actually I always kind of liked Harriet Oleson on the TV series. I mean sure, she was mean, but she was also goodhearted deep inside. She just needed the right person to bring it out).

ANYHOO, it got me thinking about where exactly my priorities lie. It's a judgement free zone really. Nothing wrong with wanting a beautiful home in a prestigious neighborhood. This world is harsh and demands proof of your worthiness. A good zip code can help that. But travel! To see the world, isn't that the real dream? Or perhaps to enjoy more wonderful offspring-I do delight in seeing how the genes mesh together to make a new person. A new person with the potential to brighten the world with altruism, wisdom, or artistic beauty. And let's be honest, if I could have all three, that's what it would be. But if i have to choose-if I have to choose, which would I choose? Lovely house? Travel? More kid activities? Savings for kids? A new pair of shoes every now and then? Damn all the credit cards. I miss shopping. Maybe I should work on making this place more of what I want instead of wanting to throw in the towel and move on. Maybe living below our means is the key.

I don't know. I just find it so intriguing to consider all the many choices out there, and how each little choice can profoundly affect another.

And isn't it lovely, all these choices? All this possibility at our fingertips, waiting for us to pluck it off this tree of life, and taste the pulpy sweetness with nibbling teeth and eager tongue?

That's all.

I have decided, a decade late, perhaps, to read 50 Shades of Grey. Supposedly Anastastia is an INFP, though I think tonight I'd rather be the dreaded INFJ. Either way, I just...am...too...curious, ,and the thought of reading a deliciously unhealthy and unwholesome romance is just too tempting. Wish me luck!

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