I woke up contemplating two whole weeks, if not to myself, at least with those who love me best. As a reader I started looking for some reading material which help solidify and validify the half-formed thoughts in the back of my head.
I stumbled across this sweet little post about giving the gift of time to your little ones.
If you missed that it was:
https://www.playfullearning.net/resource/the-gift-of-time/
This spoke to me, because like so many other parents, it is hard to get lost in the moment. It is hard for me to ever get lost in a moment. I am only lost in emotion usually when I am just completely and utterly angry. The rest of time, I find my mind is working, looking at other perspectives, noting irony, and thinking about other things. But what a precious gift we can give our children by being completely present at least part of the day. We can play their games without rushing, but actually enjoy the moment as we are in it. While it sounds easy, to me it is not! I am always contemplating, thinking, wondering, dreaming, wishing, daydreaming, hoping, waiting-my mind is always somewhere else. But our children know. They know when they are jobs to be fulfilled and not valued as people we delight in. So I want to spend time enjoying them for the people they are. Not going through the motions and hoping they don't notice my disengagement, but being fully present for greater periods of the day with them.
And that is what I want to do. It will be hard. I like my creature comforts as much as I know I should go out in the back yard and watch the kids play even when it is below 60 degrees. I feel a little lost if I can't "research" a topic immediately that comes to mind. As Alec is slowly napping less and less, I find the day quite long without that break in the middle.
But I want to accept this challenge!
Why?
I think it is important to be present and involved with your little ones, and I want my actions to match my words!
How can this be accomplished?
First, I plan to leave my phone in my room. Maybe even hide it from the kids. I will only get on it when the house is quiet enough for me to sneak away upstairs.
I will only be on the computer when Alec is sleeping. Honestly, I don't know if I can accomplish this today. A lady has been asking for pictures of my in-stock items,which I promised to her today, and while I wonder if perhaps she is just lonely, I feel I should oblige. That will require the phone, for sure, and perhaps the computer.
Third, I am committing to take the kids somewhere each day and playing a board game with them each day. Since many of our pieces have been lost, I may have to go out and purchase some cheap games (again!). The somewhere doesn't have to be anything spectacular, it can be out for an ice cream cone. But what I need to commit to is actually getting out of the car, and making it an experience.
Check Progress
Now I have three solid goals which will be easy to mark, yes or no. We will see how I stack up! I will check in every other day with an update!
Okay! Day one, let's check my progress. I know I said every other day, but rules are made to be broken, baby!
1. My phone didn't stay totally in my room. But I was off it most of the day. I was on it enough to post a few things on social media, makes plans with my sweet customer to meet her so she could look at some clothing, and put up a new fun outfit I thought looked happy enough to be one of ours.
2. I wasn't on the computer much either. Yay me!
3. We didn't really go anywhere, except to the Walmart pickup, and after a rough and grumpy start (on my part-I have a cold and am cranky), the kids had some fun and got lots of outdoor time. My 9-year-old scuffled with a neighbor kid, and I am happy with how I handled it. He even broke down in tears over his own angry impulsiveness and we talked about that a bit. I was a hot-head as a child, which I have tempered tremendously as the years have gone on (with occasional, anxiety-induced outbursts), so I totally get it. And I get the guilt and self-disappointment when one acts in haste and anger. So it was nice to get him to open up a bit.
Tonight, my husband I are going out to see Star Wars and then! tomorrow! Another great day full of plans!
I stumbled across this sweet little post about giving the gift of time to your little ones.
If you missed that it was:
https://www.playfullearning.net/resource/the-gift-of-time/
This spoke to me, because like so many other parents, it is hard to get lost in the moment. It is hard for me to ever get lost in a moment. I am only lost in emotion usually when I am just completely and utterly angry. The rest of time, I find my mind is working, looking at other perspectives, noting irony, and thinking about other things. But what a precious gift we can give our children by being completely present at least part of the day. We can play their games without rushing, but actually enjoy the moment as we are in it. While it sounds easy, to me it is not! I am always contemplating, thinking, wondering, dreaming, wishing, daydreaming, hoping, waiting-my mind is always somewhere else. But our children know. They know when they are jobs to be fulfilled and not valued as people we delight in. So I want to spend time enjoying them for the people they are. Not going through the motions and hoping they don't notice my disengagement, but being fully present for greater periods of the day with them.
And that is what I want to do. It will be hard. I like my creature comforts as much as I know I should go out in the back yard and watch the kids play even when it is below 60 degrees. I feel a little lost if I can't "research" a topic immediately that comes to mind. As Alec is slowly napping less and less, I find the day quite long without that break in the middle.
But I want to accept this challenge!
Why?
I think it is important to be present and involved with your little ones, and I want my actions to match my words!
How can this be accomplished?
First, I plan to leave my phone in my room. Maybe even hide it from the kids. I will only get on it when the house is quiet enough for me to sneak away upstairs.
I will only be on the computer when Alec is sleeping. Honestly, I don't know if I can accomplish this today. A lady has been asking for pictures of my in-stock items,which I promised to her today, and while I wonder if perhaps she is just lonely, I feel I should oblige. That will require the phone, for sure, and perhaps the computer.
Third, I am committing to take the kids somewhere each day and playing a board game with them each day. Since many of our pieces have been lost, I may have to go out and purchase some cheap games (again!). The somewhere doesn't have to be anything spectacular, it can be out for an ice cream cone. But what I need to commit to is actually getting out of the car, and making it an experience.
Check Progress
Now I have three solid goals which will be easy to mark, yes or no. We will see how I stack up! I will check in every other day with an update!
Okay! Day one, let's check my progress. I know I said every other day, but rules are made to be broken, baby!
1. My phone didn't stay totally in my room. But I was off it most of the day. I was on it enough to post a few things on social media, makes plans with my sweet customer to meet her so she could look at some clothing, and put up a new fun outfit I thought looked happy enough to be one of ours.
2. I wasn't on the computer much either. Yay me!
3. We didn't really go anywhere, except to the Walmart pickup, and after a rough and grumpy start (on my part-I have a cold and am cranky), the kids had some fun and got lots of outdoor time. My 9-year-old scuffled with a neighbor kid, and I am happy with how I handled it. He even broke down in tears over his own angry impulsiveness and we talked about that a bit. I was a hot-head as a child, which I have tempered tremendously as the years have gone on (with occasional, anxiety-induced outbursts), so I totally get it. And I get the guilt and self-disappointment when one acts in haste and anger. So it was nice to get him to open up a bit.
Tonight, my husband I are going out to see Star Wars and then! tomorrow! Another great day full of plans!
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