Monday, June 3, 2019

Out of My Hands

One of the things I struggle with in this new blog, is how to show my faith in God without alienating those with different beliefs. I don't want to be a "believer and you can suck it" kind of person. Nor do I want to hide the role faith plays in my life because how can I say my truth authentically and hide such a large part?

I was thinking on this and I realized that although I do pray and bring God into my life every day, I tend to try to use Him as a tool, rather than the other way. I sift through challenges and plans and then call on God when I get confused.

And I realized, once again (because let's face it, I am a slow learner!) that God is more than my back pocket friend, if there is a God he is the guiding force of the Universe.

He is not the handy dandy notebook I pull out when I get confused. He is the one deciding the plans from the start.

This is hard to remember. It is hard to remember to ask God to guide your steps so you can fulfill his plan for you, rather than calling on him when you are struggling to implement your plans.

I struggle greatly. I find it hard to accept my place in this world. I want to be known. I want to be right in there making decisions and making plans for the organizations I am involved with. At the same time, I want to be left alone, to leave others alone, and free to express any and all emotions at whichever time I feel them. Those really aren't compatible goals. So when I make a mistake or reach a standpoint, that is when I call on God to help me out.

This isn't a new idea. There are numerous songs out there, the horrific "Jesus Take the Wheel" song (sorry, I just can't Carrie Underwood today), numerous Christian pop songs, all which serve as a reminder that it isn't ME in control of this life, but a stronger power, a Universal intelligence and strength.

This is where the struggle lies, I think. Reconciling the plans a higher power has for you with the plans you have made. Your voice matters. My voice matters. My desires and dreams are a big part of who I am, but they aren't the only part. There is a physical daily me that is who others see as the real me. The trick is remembering to ask for guidance first, rather than as an emergency plan when things aren't working out. Doing so lessons the likelihood I come across as a crazed, unfocused reactor, but a dedicated, focused person of worth and purpose.

This week, in addition to my earlier smiling goal, I am going to focus on asking for God's guidance first thing, rather than begging God to please make my plans happen.

Do you struggle with letting go of control? Sometimes it is scary to look at how much in this world is out of our hands. Think about what steps you can take today to bring you closer to your truest purpose without compromising who you are. How will you get there? Do you believe there is an overarching theme or purpose to your life? How will you reach it?



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